Creative.

Dear Benjamin,

    You’ll never get to read this, but I wanted to let you know that the story of your life has inspired me.  After reading just a short bit of your story, I came to realize that you never really complained about what was happening to you.  To think of how shocking it might have been to run into someone like you…you were never rude to anyone. 

I’m so sorry for the way your father treated you at first, and for how Roscoe was sort of ashamed of you.  There is no way I can empathize for you on that one.  It’s hard for me to believe how understanding you were with them!  How could you not have lashed out?  Didn’t you ever feel sorry for yourself?  You must have felt very torn at times. 

I’m sure you loved getting younger, when your body was that of a man in his twenties or thirties.  Yet at the same time, it must have been confusing for you.  How is a man of eighteen years of age, with the looks of a fifty-year-old supposed to act?  I wonder if thoughts like that ever crossed your mind. I can try to understand the frustration you must have had when first attempting to get into college.  I’m glad you eventually proved them wrong. 

I am grateful you found love though.  Hildegard sounds just lovely.  I love how you talked of her hair being the color of honey.  I can’t imagine what it’d be like to see your lover grow old, when you’re doing the opposite.  I’m sorry you had to go through that.  I’m sure you really loved her all the while.  At least that’s what I want to believe.

All of this to say Benjamin, I’m impressed with the way you handled your life.  You had to deal with something no one else in the entire world had ever probably even dreamt about, and you did it to the best of your ability.  I hope your story will inspire others to be thankful for what they have, and never take a day for granted.  You taught me to live life to it’s fullest every single day.  Thank you Benjamin.  Job well done.

Sincerely,
Debbi

reflective

“I couldn’t tell you when Mama died—but the reason I wanted to leave Harlem so bad was to get away from drugs.  And then, when I ran away, that’s what I was running from—really.  When I came back, nothing had changed, I hadn’t changed, I was just—older.” (Sonny’s Blues pg 406)

Have you ever known someone who tried to “run away” from their problem(s) by moving to a new place or changing schools?  I have.  I remember like it was yesterday…the first week of school here at SEU as a freshman.  It seems like you meet EVERYONE on campus.  I remember talking to girls and hearing them tell me how they came to a Christian school because they wanted to stop drinking, doing drugs, sleeping with guys, etc., but they couldn’t do it if they stayed at home.  Unfortunately, I would say about 95% of those girls ended up doing those exact same things even while here at SEU.  Nothing changed.  Many people believe that if they change their location that their problems won’t follow them.  The truth is, they can’t run away from them.  It might seem to be the solution at first, but eventually those issues begin to creep back into their lives.  If one doesn’t take the time, and sometimes painful, effort it takes to deal with their problems in life, nothing will ever change. 

We see this in Sonny’s Blues.  Sonny says while talking to his brother that the real reason he wanted to leave home (Harlem) was to get away from drugs.  But in the end, when he came back, nothing changed.  He hadn’t changed.  He was just older.  The temptations were still there, and the drugs never disappeared.  Sonny then mentions afterwards, “It can come again” –in reference to his heroine addiction.  Because Sonny didn’t deal with his drug addiction on his own, it never went away.  Just because he’d been clean for a while in jail doesn’t mean he wouldn’t do it again.  Had Sonny dealt with his drug addiction while he was still home, it is very unlikely that he would use again after returning home from serving.  He might not have ever left in the first place!

Thankfully, we as Christians have the love of the Father to help and love us through any type of problem or addiction!  Had those girls I met my freshman year actually sought after the Lord for themselves and looked to mentors to keep them accountable through their struggles, I believe they wouldn’t have ended up like they did.  No matter how impossible the situation may seem, nothing is impossible for our Lord. 

Legacy.

This devotion hit me hard, seeing as one of my dearest friends passed away last night in a terrible car accident.  When the author of this article quoted Isaiah 40:1, “Comfort, comfort my people, says your God” I knew this verse was for me at this very point in time.  My friend Heather was the most joyful person I've ever met.  You could not be around her without there being much laughter involved.  The joy in her life was contagious.  Her last Facebook status said, “don't just pretend to love others...really love them.”  Heather did just that.  She was an incredible example of Christ's love, and left a legacy that will never go unnoticed.  I want to have an impact on the lives of everyone I meet just as Heather did.  My duty here on earth is to shine the love of Christ so bright that people cant help but see Him when they see me.  People don't remember Heather for the way she dressed, the things she owned, or the car she drove.  They remember her for her exploding heart of joy, how she made everyone around her feel incredibly loved, and her passion for the Lord.  I want my life to reflect those same values.  This is one of the reasons why I want to be a teacher.  I not only want to educate and help my students with their struggles in school, but I want to show them the love of Christ in every way I possibly can.  I want my students to remember me for my character and love for them more so than how I graded their homework.  We are called to make disciples of all nations, and I intend on doing that by being a living example of Jesus Christ's unconditional love.  I'm reminded of a song by Nichole Nordeman titled “Legacy.”  The lyrics to the chorus say, “ I want to leave a legacy.  How will they remember me?  Did I choose to love?  Did I point to you enough to make a mark on things?  I want to leave an offering, a child of mercy and grace who blessed Your name unapologetically, and leave that kind of legacy.”  These lyrics remind me to bless the Lord in ALL that I do.  I want to make a difference in the lives of others and impact them the way that Heather did for me.  I would not be the person I am today if it weren't for Heather's love, mentoring, and fellowship in my life, and I hope many others will say the same about me when I go to be with the Lord.